Spoke Too Soon

I had a D&C this morning. I am no longer pregnant.

I had a doctor's appointment yesterday. It was supposed to just be a visit with the nurse to go over family history. At the end, she tried to hear the baby's heartbeat on the doppler and couldn't find it. At first we thought it was just early, but another nurse tried and couldn't find it either. Since Dr. Z was there, she went ahead and did a sonogram and the baby died one day last week.

We prayed and prayed all afternoon for a miracle, but it wasn't in God's plan. We went back yesterday for another sonogram to make sure, and the other doctor in Dr. Z's practice found the same thing. So I had a D&C this morning.

We are very, very hurt and devastated. We both wish we could know the reasoning behind this, but we know we just have to have faith. This just proves to us that Luke Thomas is an even bigger miracle than we realized, and he may be our only miracle. But that is okay, because God's plan is always good, even when we can't see it at times.

My mind is blank except for this verse: "But when Jesus heard it, he answered him saying, 'Do not be afraid, just believe, and she will be made well.'" Luke 8:50 Yesterday, we thought this verse would mean that our baby would have a heartbeat at the second sonogram. Then we realized, she (or he but we think it was a she) is made well, just not the well we were envisioning. But she is in Heaven now, and she is perfect, and she never has to go through the pain that life can bring. And she is with her brother/sister (or whatever they were) and they are waiting for me and Nate and Luke, whenever it is our time. We'll have a big happy reunion in Heaven one day.

Christmas Part 3

We headed down to Emmett on Sunday to celebrate Christmas with Nate's family. We announced our pregnancy right before we ate lunch - or rather, Nate's dad Matt announced our pregnancy during the prayer. We'd asked him to say something subtle, something that wouldn't be obvious that it was us, and at the end of the blessing, he asked God to bless July 26th and everything that would happen on that day. After we said, "Amen", everyone was asking what July 26th was. Finally someone (I can't remember who) said, "Who's pregnant?" and I raised my hand. It was perfect, and I'm so glad to have everything out in the open now. No more secrets!! :)

Before we opened presents, we did a family picture. It's so hard to get that many people in a picture, much less get everyone to smile and look good at the same time, but I think we did a good job. Except for the cranky little boy sitting at my feet, who's kid is that?! ;)







Being crazy.


All the cousins! They had so much fun playing together.


We decided that this Christmas we would just buy for the little kids. Here they are surrounded by their gifts.






Luke opening some of his presents:

Christmas Part 2!

After celebrating as a family on Christmas morning, we drove to Dallas to celebrate with my mom, dad, Beth and Justin.

There was still snow on the ground Christmas morning but the roads were fine, except for a few icy bridges. But we were in Nate's truck so we were safe. :)

Brunch was ready when we got there, so we had our traditional Christmas breakfast.


After we ate, we revealed our pregnancy news to Beth and Justin. It was the first time I've been able to tell Beth about a pregnancy in person! My mom suggested that we let Luke open a present before going outside for a family picture in the snow. So he sat in Bee's lap to open his gift.


It was a book titled "I'm a Big Brother". I happened to capture her face when she figured it out - priceless!!


Beth and Justin looking at each other in disbelief - neither of them had a clue!!


Our first White Christmas!


Then it was time to come in and open presents. Luke helped Beth distribute the gifts.


Here, Justin.


Checking out his Big Brother book.


Luke's turn to open!




His very first Thomas train set!


Oh, boy!


How do I get in this thing?


Mom opening her gift from Beth and Justin. It was a study Bible and it made her cry. :)


Another gift for Luke!


A Luke train!


Still wondering how to get the train tracks out.


Dad got Seinfeld Scene It from Beth and Justin. It was funny.


We finally took pity on the poor kid and set up a small train track for him to play with.


I think he's annoyed with all the pics.


Beth and Justin got books for Christmas. Seemed boring to me, but they were pretty excited.


The traditional Wegman Puppy Calendar.




Justin realized that Luke got a Luke Thomas train. How clever!


Family pictures!




We caught Dad playing with the train tracks without Luke. Justin did the same thing, we just didn't get a picture of it!


I got a new computer for Christmas. It's awesome.


Luke putting his train tracks together all by himself.




Playing Seinfeld Scene It.


Nate and I won.


Dinner time!


Luke & Daddy.


After dinner we watched the movie Up.


And that concludes the Jenkins/Stroder/Burgin Christmas celebration!

Wanna know a secret?!

There are actually four Stroders in this picture!



That's right! We're expecting Baby Stroder #2 - estimated due date of 07.26.10!

I'm 10 weeks pregnant today and everything with the baby is looking great so far. Here's a sonogram picture taken at 8 weeks:

Our Family Christmas Celebration

Our Christmas Day tradition is to celebrate as a family Christmas morning. We check out what Santa left, open presents to each other, and hang out a little before going to my parents' house. Our day started early with Luke jumping on us at 6:45 am, asking if Santa had come. Since Luke walks through the living room to get to our bedroom, Santa was smart enough to cover Luke's gift with a sheet. He didn't even notice it when he walked through; who knew Santa was such a genious?!

We drug ourselves out of bed and I took Luke back into his room while Nate got the cameras set up. We made Luke wait until we were ready before he could run in and see everything.

Here's what everything looked like before he came in. The stockings -


The Santa gifts - a drum set, an activity book about Jonah and the Whale (Luke's favorite Bible story), and a candy cane (the only thing he ever asked Santa for):


Santa ate all of the cookies and drank all of the milk. He even left Luke a note! That was one of the first things Luke checked on before his gifts.


Here he comes!!


Hey, what's that over there?!




Rocking out.


Opening the gifts in his stocking.


Opening a gift from Mommy and Daddy - a Little Einsteins laptop.




Daddy getting it out of the box for him.


Daddy could wait to drum with Luke.


Luke helping Daddy open his present.


Another gift from Mommy and Daddy was the Hungry, Hungry, Hippos. Of course we had to play!


Luke & Mommy


Here's a shot of our house on Christmas morning! Still can't believe there was snow on the ground!